Top Five Things I Learned While Biking Across Canada

I woke up today and realized it was Tuesday and that--hey!--I have a job and I AM ON DEADLINE in a very serious way. So, uh, I'm here to procrastinate! I kinda forgot about my writing job because there was a pause in the action, so I did a week of cushy temping instead (my hours were noon to five(!) and all I did was play Scrabulous while babysitting a phone that rarely rang) and somehow my brain preferred to believe the cushy reality was my permanent reality and, thus, deleted my inconvenient deadline from memory. Anyway, I remembered that it's Tuesday and realized I haven't done a Top Five Tuesday in a while. And, because I've been tinkering around with the Big Agnes blog lately, this week's theme is bike trip related.

5. Carbs are your friend. Period. They're even better when you wash them down with gravy. Oh, go on. Diet this, diet that, blah, blah, blah it's all nonsense anyway. Eat what you want, girlfriend. Only Jessica Alba can look like Jessica Alba and, fortunately for the rest of us, wearing a bikini and waving our fannies at the paparazzi is not in our job description.

4. Although, if you don't get enough fresh fruits and vegetables, you will start to feel a little funny. In the head. Your body needs fruits and vegetables. So does your brain. There was a day, at the height of the Vegetable Crisis, where I woke up, started weeping, and then was unable to stop crying (or explain why I was crying), so I spent several hours grimly pedaling while silent, persistent tears streamed down my face. It was bizarre. And pathetic. I was just...LOW. Low and vague and cloudy. And low. We hit a salad bar the next day and I was all "Whee! I'm fine now!" and went skipping down the street, all high on folic acid. Causality was typically pretty apparent during the trip. ME HUNGRY. ME SLEEPY. ME WANT STEAK. If you're biking over 100 kilometres a day, your body/mind is pushed to its outer limits anyway, so crises evolving from nutritional deficiencies will became obvious very quickly. For us, within about a week or so of poor nutrition, we were howling at the moon.

However, I think this same process of mental/physical erosion happens even if you're not engaged in extreme physical activity; it's just more vague and slow when you're physical expenditures are limited to shifting your weight from one ass cheek to the other or using your index finger to dial a mouse wheel. The erosion is there, but you're less inclined to notice it consciously. If you feel a little down, a little low, and also happen to be one of those people who has to count the catsup on their fries as a serving of veggies, that might be a big part of your problem.

3. Your body likes to move. Your body was made to move. Before we left, we didn't train all that much, considering we were embarking on a 7000 km bike trip. That started in the Rockies. Oh, sure, we worked out, we were active, etc. But, we also worked full time. So, we spent maybe an hour or so working out (almost but not really) every day (which actually isn't all that different from what we do normally). On the bike trip, we typically got in about seven to eight hours of cycling every day, while carrying about 30–50 pounds of gear. And did I mention the Rockies? Because they were really big. And mountainous. I wasn't sure if two moderately fit, not-all-that-young people could really pull it off without some physical repercussions. But, in fact, we were fine. We were more than fine; we were fantastic! Our bodies adapted so quickly and readily to the increased activity. In fact, our bodies gobbled it up and asked for more. No strains or pains. No back pain, no neck pain, no migraines. Sit at a desk for eight hours and you'll feel it. You'll be creaky and sore and your body will complain and get all tangled up and angry. Get up and move and your body will perk up, do a little dance, and then give you an impulsive hug before taking off in a gallop.

It was more than that, more than just feeling surprisingly great considering how hard we were working. The other thing that happens when your body is happy is that you're happy. Happy body, happy brain. Apart from the vitamin deficiency episode, we both marveled at how...solidly great and clear-headed we felt. In fact, I was so clear-headed that I—okay, you better sit down for this. Are you ready? I was so clear-headed that I even started to understand math. Yes. I no longer believe it's possible to be happy unless you get at least an hour a day of exercise. I don't care who you are or what you say, I won't believe you. You wanna feel better than you thought possible? Go outside. Move around. It doesn't matter what you do—walk, bike, stroll, roll over 75 times—just give your body what it wants. It'll thank you. As a bonus, you can eat gravy and still be a hottie.

2. When you're going through some ups and downs, hills will look much worse from a distance than they actually are. It's an optical illusion. Partway down one hill, the hill ahead of you will look steep and tall and daunting; get to its base, and it's actually not so bad. In fact, you'll zip over the base and be partway up before you know it. Typically, your dread will far outweigh the actual effort required of you to tackle a climb (procrastinating editors take note).

There is an exception to this rule: the mountain pass. If you can't see the top of a hill (because it's 50 km away!), your mind will play another trick on you and will make impossibly large uphill grinds look like they're slanted downhill. I could never figure out this optical illusion, although certainly it could just be straight up denial (Ha! There's no WAY I can't see the top of this mountain. That would mean...no. NO.) So, sometimes just when you think you're going to get to sit back and coast, you're actually about to go through an extended period of hell. And when you're going through hell? Too bad, suckah. There ain't nothin' you can do about it but keep on going. Amen.

As for coasting? I never once encountered the free downhill ride my mind sometimes expected. The only time life will let you coast is after you've earned it.

1. The world is full of good people. People you don't know will slow their trucks down to a near stop to protect you from bears, they will pull over on a hot day to offer you cold water, they will lean out their windows to cheer you on when you're struggling up a hill, they will give two strangers the keys to the town hall so that they have a place to stay, and no matter where you are, there is always somebody who will crack a beer for you and invite you to join them around the campfire. People love to laugh and tell stories and will welcome you into their lives if you let them. People are good. Life is good.